Birth Story: Part Three

By Cate | March 16, 2012 - 11:00 am | birth story

I’m back today with the last installment of my little three part series. Click to read Part One and Part Two. If you have any questions or comments, I’d love to get an email or comment from you!

There I was, at 5:50pm on St. Patrick’s day in the throes of active labor. Wouldn’t a cold Irish beer be nice right now? Instead, I was lying on my back praying for the nurse to finish the *@#^ing exam. All I wanted to do was shift around. After what felt like an eternity, she finally looked up to announce she didn’t feel any cervix. I was 10cm dilated!

They put the bar on the foot of the bed so I could squat and lean on it throughout the remaining contractions. Now they just felt like urges to push, different than the contractions before. I continued to shift around, trying to find the most comfortable position to push. I had been convinced squatting was the ideal position for delivery, but I just couldn’t get comfortable that way, despite the countless squats I’d done through pregnancy to prepare. Frank remained there at my side, encouraging and supporting.
Our nurse said to me, “Do you understand how close you are to meeting your baby?” I paused, thinking to myself, “why no, I don’t.” I settled on a side-lying position on my left, with my right leg in the air and bent. Frank stood to my left, helping to hold my right leg up. The nurse joked that her shift would end in an hour, in an effort to encourage me to get the baby out before then. I took that seriously and used it as more motivation.

It must have been 6:20 or so when the doc returned, quickly wheeling the cart of instruments in. I remembered our teacher had told us that the cart means delivery is very close, and I said so to Frank. There was a little flurry of activity as the doc and nurse set up for delivery. I continued pushing and moaning when I felt like it. The moaning really felt like it helped me push and physically release. Our nurse called for warm towels and blankets on the intercom. They wheeled a mirror in for me to watch the delivery.

Elsie’s head became visible in the mirror, all dark and wrinkly. I continued to push, feeling like time had frozen, and it should all be happening faster. The feeling in my perineum was so intense. More much pressure and stretching than I had imagined. Now there were several nurses, the doc, our doula, and Frank watching the progress. Everyone began to cheer as I was pushing, saying how close we were. Each time I pushed, EB’s head would show, and when the contraction passed, it would retreat. We had learned about this: three steps forward, two steps back. The stretching and burning peaked, and I just pushed as hard as I could to get through that. I felt there was no way I could push any harder than I was. This was definitely the most intense sensation throughout labor. I hesitate to call it pain, because it was different than the pain you feel if you break a bone or cut yourself, or bump your head hard. I knew my body was doing what it was built to do, and trusted what it was doing and what I was feeling. After a few more pushes, her head emerged. Then very quickly the rest of her body slid out. It was 6:40pm. Relief!

A nurse walked in with the warm towels just as Elsie was born, surprised at how quickly it happened. They wiped Elsie off quickly and sucked the mucus out of her mouth and nose. Frank and I were both in shock and so emotional as they put her on my chest. Frank cut the cord. I gave one last push to deliver the placenta.

The doc was pushing on my belly, trying to get my uterus to contract. I was bleeding pretty heavily. She gave me the choice of Pitocin or Cytotec to stop the bleeding. I chose Pitocin. Now that Elsie wouldn’t be affected, I was OK with the meds. They set up the pitocin drip.

Frank and I just marveled over our beautiful little girl. She was so whole and flawless and perfect and THERE in our arms. Finally.

one minute old

She stayed on my chest for a while (maybe an hour?), covered with a warm blanket. It was amazing to see her pecking and rooting. I breastfed her. We snuggled and watched her closely, in awe.

30 minutes old

When they eventually pulled the blanket away, we saw that she had pooped all over. We were both covered in meconium! I mean covered! Meanwhile Dr. Travis sewed my 2nd degree tear. Now, that was painful in the broad sense of the word. The new nurse (the shift had changed by now) took Elsie to wipe her off, weigh and measure her, and Frank stayed with her. I went to shower off, then wrapped up in warm blankets and sat in a wheelchair, waiting to move to the Mother Baby Unit.
Elsie was 19.5″ long and 7lb 7oz, a really average size. The doc had thought she’d be much bigger, being so far overdue. Perhaps this was her “due date” all along.

Frank packed up our stuff then the nurse wheeled me up to the Mother Baby unit. I held Elsie and Frank walked beside us. There were two nurses there, one for Elsie and one for me. I put on some clean clothes as Elsie’s nurse bathed her. She still had meconium in her nooks and crannies. It was 9:30pm or so, and though visiting hours ended at 9, they allowed my inlaws to come meet Elsie. They stayed for 15 or 20 minutes, oohing and ahhing, taking photos and marveling with us. Once they left we settled into our room. We were exhausted!

We were a family.

It was Thursday, March 17, 2011. We spent that night and the following night in the hospital, having a crash-course in baby 101.

one day old

Saturday, once we were cleared, we left to return to our home. Forever changed.

first car ride

four days old

eight days old

two weeks old

I wanted to share my story in hopes it might help you in some way, whether you’re planning a natural birth or not. In hindsight, here are the tips and lessons I found most important.

All of the preparation we did helped. I was so glad we had done the classes and read the books. We were planning and hoping for a natural birth, but also felt prepared if meds or surgery were needed.
I wish I had not focused on my “due date”. Mentally it was so difficult for me to feel OK about going “so far passed it”. I use quotations because a due date is such a subjective thing. It’s impossible to know exactly the date, and even if you did, the statistics of women who actually give birth on their due date are very low. It’s very common for first pregnancies to go passed the estimated date.
Even though I was two weeks passed that “due date” my body was primed for labor. I truly believe the visualizations I did and the six sessions of acupuncture helped my body begin labor, in a sense, without me really knowing it.
I had watched online videos that our hospital birth class had given us access to, demonstrating the changes in the cervix as labor progresses. This helped me form an accurate picture in my mind. (Seconds 14-25 in this video are similar)
When I was in the tub and made the mental shift to welcome the contractions and open up to them, it was truly transformative. I believe that’s why my labor progressed so quickly. Rather than bracing myself against the pain, my surrender to it helped me move through it more quickly. This is such a parallel to any trial in life. What a miracle that lesson was.
Hiring a doula turned out to be a great decision. She was a calm, knowledgeable presence throughout the process. We hadn’t planned on hiring one, but as the end of my pregnancy drew closer, we decided to do it. She was a great support through those last couple of weeks, answering questions and making suggestions. I highly recommend having one.

How is it that an entire year has passed? I am so blessed.

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Birth Story, Part Two

By Cate | March 9, 2012 - 12:00 pm | birth story

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Ooooh, I’m so glad y’all are back! Before we get to part two of the story, I wanted to let you know I’m guest posting over at Living Savvy today. Head over there to check out my most recent project, learn about an addiction I have, and get a sneak preview of our master bedroom…soon to be featured in an Our House post. You’ll love Tiffany’s blog. She has lovely taste and a knack for getting the most bang for her bucks.

So, here we are with part two of my little three part series. To read Part One, click here. Keep in mind…I’m taking a leap here, sharing the most intense personal experience I’ve ever had, and I’d rather you not read it if it’ll make you feel uncomfortable. Please don’t judge. This is my story, the way it happened. Birth is a touchy subject for some. Please read respectfully, if you choose to read. And if you have any questions or comments, I’d love to get an email or comment from you!

For a few moments I waited, expecting something to happen immediately. Our doula encouraged us to move around to help labor to begin. So Frank, the doula and I walked around the L&D floor. We couldn’t leave the unit, so we made a couple of loops. I remember seeing another mom doing the same, but she was in much more advanced labor. I wanted to be as far along as she was! But I was also nervous. She was obviously in quite a bit of pain. We returned to our room and I bounced on the yoga ball.

Frank and I meditated together (not something we typically do) and did some visualization to help bring on labor. I had been doing this often throughout the pregnancy, but especially the last few weeks. We talked through a visualization of the baby moving down through the birth canal and my cervix opening and thinning. Our Doula wrapped my belly tightly with a long piece of woven fabric. The idea was to bring the baby to a more vertical position where she could more easily drop.

We walked the loop again. I wasn’t feeling any contractions. Ugh! Around 1pm we started using the hospital breast pump for nipple stimulation. This stimulates the same hormone that is released in contractions, and can trick your body into going into labor. We did two 20 minute stints. I also took some homeopathic remedies our doula offered. We had smuggled some snacks in and I had a granola bar, ate some jello, and had cranberry juice.

At 2pm the doc visited again. She said she would give me two more hours before she felt she should start Pitocin, since I wasn’t yet feeling contractions. Our nurse tried hard to get the finicky wireless monitor working so I could eventually labor in the tub. Our doula kept asking if I was feeling contractions. I was expecting the same feeling as the Braxton Hicks contractions I had felt throughout the end of the pregnancy, but now I was just feeling period cramps low near my cervix. When I mentioned this, our doula thought it was good news. We did another round with the breast pump.

The “period cramps” got more intense and closer together. Was this labor? Had the breast pump worked? I found it most comfortable to work through them either sitting on the ball and leaning up on the bed, or kneeling on the lower part of bed, leaning on the raised upper part.

Around 4pm the nurse did an exam. I was 6cm dilated. This didn’t sound like much to me, but our doula was so happy because it confirmed labor had really started. During the exam my cervix was still a bit posterior, so the nurse pulled it forward with her finger. Ouch. This was the worst pain I’d felt so far. We waited a bit longer to be sure labor would continue, and when it did, we started filling the tub.

I worked with the cramps-turned-contractions, breathing out “OK” every time one would come on. Frank was always right there with me, coaching me on, encouraging me, reminding me to relax. He would say things like, “Your body is strong,” “Our baby is working with you to come out.”

Around 4:30 I got into the tub. The warm water felt sooo good and relaxing. Frank and our doula poured cupfuls of water over my belly and it helped with the pain and made my contractions much more manageable. With our doula’s encouragement I made the mental shift to welcome the pain, be open to the contractions, surrender to them. I was able to relax into each contraction, mentally opening myself up to them. I knew (from what I’d learned in class and from the stories I’d read) that this would progress the labor.

As I was working so hard at relaxing, the contractions must have been getting stronger. They didn’t feel much worse, but I was in a sort of trance with my breathing and attempting to relax. Frank took the only bathroom break he had all day, and one contraction came during that time. I missed him being there. The labor had become so ritualistic. I found comfort in the predictability of our routines with each contraction. When a shift in the pattern happened, I found it difficult to readjust. My legs started trembling pretty strongly. Our doula reminded us this is a sign of transition.

Around 5:30 I felt a strong urge to use the bathroom and really wanted to get out of the tub. For the first time (ever) I asked Frank to come with me to the bathroom. I felt that I would need his physical support. When I sat down, an overwhelming urge to push came over me. This feeling was stronger than anything I have ever felt. It consumed my entire body. I can not imagine trying to counter this urge. I couldn’t control the pushes and couldn’t keep myself from grunting with them. It was such a primal urge. Our doula heard me and called the nurse. I heard her say I was sounding “really pushy.” I moved to the bed and rested on my hands and knees. The nurse came to do an exam, and I remember really not wanting to lie on my back, as it was such an uncomfortable position. I forced myself to lie down and waited for her assessment. This was getting so incredibly intense, so incredibly fast.

To be continued…

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Birth Story, Part One

By Cate | March 2, 2012 - 12:00 pm | birth story

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Hello dear blog readers! I’m so glad you stopped by today. Come back this afternoon…it’s a two-post day. I want to let you know I’m taking a bit of a leap here, and stepping outside of my typical DIY/decorating/recipe-sharing self. You see, almost one whole year ago my first born came into the world. If you’re a mother you know (and if you’re not, you can imagine) it’s a life event that is SO incredibly special, and something I am immensely proud of. After much contemplation, I’ve decided I want to share the story with you here on my blog. If you are pregnant or plan to be at some point in the future, you may be interested in my story. As a pregnant woman, I read lots and lots of birth stories. Hearing what other women went through was inspiring to me. And, as a planner in a situation that can’t really be planned, I felt the more I knew about what might possibly happen, the better off I’d be.

If you’re not into labor and delivery stories, go ahead and stop here. Close out this browser window or delete this email and go on about your day. Or, if you don’t feel comfortable reading about cervixes in general or MY cervix, nipple stimulation or MY nipple stimulation (eeek! I can’t believe I just typed that on the world wide web!), overwhelming urges or MY overwhelming urges, you can just move right along. I’m really taking a leap here, and sharing the most intense personal experience I’ve ever had, and I’d rather you not read it if it’ll make you feel uncomfortable. And please don’t judge. This is my story, the way it happened. Birth is a touchy subject for some. Please read respectfully, if you choose to read. And if you have any questions or comments, I’d love to get an email or comment from you.

As it is a long story (is any birth story not?), I’m planning on posting the story in three parts over the next couple of Fridays, leading up to Elsie’s birthday. Here, my friends, is Part One:

the day we found out we were pregnant!

As I said, I am a planner. A list maker. I like to have things scheduled and organized and I like to be prepared. You may know that pregnancy and labor and delivery are things that can rarely be predicted. Unless you schedule a C-section, and even then there are LOTS of variables. My good friend is an experienced L&D nurse. She’s seen it all. I remember asking her years ago about women who attempt natural births. It’s something I’ve always been interested in. Were those who wanted to get through without meds typically able to do it? She told me in general those who went in prepared and determined were more likely to get through sans meds. Those who casually thought they’d “give it a shot” without meds were more likely to give up during labor. I realize this is a gross generalization, but it made sense to me.

Our number one priority was to have a healthy baby, by whatever means were necessary and in our control. My interest in natural birth had increased over time, and I was so curious to experience what mothers throughout all time have physically felt during this miracle of a process. So, I decided I really wanted to have a natural birth (if at all possible). That’s the path we took in preparing for the birth. The books I devoured included Ina May’s Guide to Natural Childbirth, Your Best Birth, and Natural Childbirth, the Bradley Way…all wonderful. In my effort to be completely prepared, I researched birth classes online. The closest natural childbirth educator I could find was a 50 minute drive from our home. The course consisted of 12 three-hour classes. It seemed like we’d learn quite a lot in that time! I contacted her, and I liked her from the start. So, I signed us up.

Despite the commute, the class was great. There were only three other couples, and we met weekly in our instructor’s home. We had homework in our workbooks, and had exercises to practice at home. Most of the exercises centered around consciously relaxing through breathing and massage. It was a wonderful thing to do throughout pregnancy, if for nothing else than the immediate benefits of relaxation. Our classes helped us understand what physically happens to a woman’s body in labor and delivery, and what Frank could do to support me. There were diagrams and models, even a hand-knit uterus used for demonstration! We also learned about the pain meds that would be available, should we need them, and what would happen if a Cesarean were necessary.

In addition to that class, we signed up for the hospital’s birth class. Over a weekend we learned about the process from one of the hospital’s staff. I was pleasantly surprised at how thorough the class was (as thorough as one can be in 6 hours), and was inspired by the open-minded approach the hospital seemed to have toward those wanting a natural birth.

So, my pregnancy progressed uneventfully. The only thing my OB was worried about was my weight. I went into pregnancy overweight, and that is an indicator of several pregnancy risks. I was careful throughout the journey to eat lots of lean protein, fresh fruits and veggies, and drink tons of water. I also took Floradix natural iron tablets in addition to a prenatal vitamin. Luckily, my blood pressure remained in a very healthy range, the baby grew at a healthy rate, and gestational diabetes never cropped up.

26 weeks preggo

After much deliberation we also decided to hire a doula. With all of the information we were learning, we weren’t sure if we’d remember it all in the heat of the moment. To have someone consistent at our sides through labor, who knew us and our hopes for the delivery well, was important to us. Plus, doulas are chock full of ideas for relieving labor pain, or distracting from it.

I knew from our classes and the books I’d read that the “due date” your doc gives is really just an estimation. Mine was set for March 3. Even according to my OB, the baby could be healthfully born two weeks before or after that date. I told myself I would add two weeks to the date, and look at that as my due date (March 17). If only I had stuck with that thinking! But, in the excitement and anticipation of pregnancy, I started to get focused on March 3rd. Our hospital bags were packed by mid February.

By my 38th week I was using visualization many times throughout the day, repeating the mantra, “dropping, thinning, opening,” picturing the baby shifting downward, and my cervix thinning and opening. I had heard many good things about prenatal acupuncture….it was even offered in my OB’s office. So, I went ahead and scheduled an appointment for my 39th week. By the time March 3rd finally rolled around, I was ready to go! I was 2-3cm dilated, 70% effaced, with a position of -2. Awesome! That baby was coming out soon…I thought.

Once March 3rd came and went, I started doing little home remedies and old wive’s tales. We went out for eggplant parmesean, I used acupressure myself (in addition to the continuing acupuncture), took homeopathic remedies my doula recommended, took long walks each day, meditated, ate tropical fruits, drank raspberry tea, had sex, bounced on the birth ball for hours, did nipple stimulation, and did castor oil packs. I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions for a few weeks, and found that when I did the castor oil packs, the contractions really increased in frequency and intensity. By 10 days post-due date I was doing them several times a day.

I couldn’t imagine actually drinking the castor oil. How disgusting would that be!? Twelve days past my due date I was desperate enough to find out. I drank it. It was absolutely disgusting. It literally cleaned me out over the next 24 hours. Even a glass of water lasted less than 5 minutes in my system. In hindsight, I’m so glad I didn’t go into labor then. To go into labor that dehydrated would not have been a good start. I was just getting so desperate! I realllllly wanted to avoid being induced. I knew induction would probably be by Pitocin, which makes labor pain so much worse than it’s supposed to be, which would most likely lead me to an epidural, which would increase the odds of a C section.

41.5 weeks preggo

We agreed with my OB, though, about wanting the baby to come no later than two weeks post due date. And by my 41.5 week check up, I was 4cm dilated. They checked the amniotic fluid and it was at a healthy level, so we scheduled the induction for right at 42 weeks, March 17th.

By the end I just wanted to not be pregnant. It was almost as if I had forgotten what it was all about. That we were bringing a new human into the world. I had lost focus and was so intent on getting the babe out, I wasn’t even thinking about what it would be like to have the her in my arms, in our lives. I couldn’t enjoy the last few days as a “couple” (soon to be “family”) because I was so caught up in the “late” birth. I knew friends and family were wondering what was going on. I put off sending a “no news yet” email because I just knew she’d arrive at any minute.

At this point our hospital bags had been waiting in the trunk of my car for well over a month. I went to sleep March 16th hoping with all of my being that I’d wake up to labor pains. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be. The alarm woke us on Thursday, March 17, 2011 at 4:45. We were scheduled to be at the hospital in Asheville by 6am for our induction. It was pitch black outside and very foggy on the deserted roads. Frank put the “Best of Car Talk” CD in to provide a bit of humor. The laughs helped quell our nerves as he drove.

The Labor and Delivery floor was quiet when we arrived. A nurse showed us to our room. We had requested one of the rooms with a large tub, and were able to get one. At Mission they call those rooms Waterworld. This was a big relief, as I really hoped to be able to soak in the tub throughout advanced labor. I changed into the comfy clothes I brought, a tank top and a knit skirt. We waited around until our nurse arrived at 7:00, watching the local news and trying to stay calm. Our nurse was quiet, but confident. She took my vitals and asked a series of admittance questions, then had me sign a bunch of papers. Our doula arrived and we all waited for the doc to show. My primary OB was traveling, but the doc on call came in around 9am.

Because I was so dilated, we had the option to break my waters rather than starting with Pitocin, which we gladly took. Our hope was that labor would commence quickly. The risk was that if labor didn’t start within a few hours they would put me on Pitocin anyway. The baby would have to be delivered within 24 hours of the rupture of the membranes. When the doc broke the waters she noted that they were not bulging and there was no meconium…good news. It was an odd sensation, as I had read many times. Like you’ve wet your pants but didn’t know it until you felt the warmth. Frank and I locked eyes. This was it. No turning back now.

To be continued… (Part two)

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